Rabbi's blog

I stood between two great mountains.

Which one was I going to climb?

I took out my binoculars to analyse the climb and climbers of the Two Mountains.

I could see fun on the first mountain. Climbers were geared up to the hilt. I could see the frolic as they gracefully sprang from one mini-peak to another. The energy I saw through a magnifying glass was seductive, carefree and chilled. The pleasure of self-indulgence was painted on their faces. What a crowd.

And the mountain? Magnificent. Majestic. It wasn’t a steep or complicated ascent and I could see myself reaching the peak and taking in the awesome wind and view. With hard work, focus on the goal, and adequate rest and food I’d make it. Everyone called it the Good Life Mountain (GLM). And boy, did it look good. It even had its own magazine celebrating the climbers of the GLM. Maybe I’d even get my own write up in the ‘GLM 400 under 40’ magazine if I made it in good time. What a vibe.

I didn’t wait to see what the other mountain had to offer. Just hearing its name was enough to scare me away. Life of Goodness Mountain (LGM). Blah… I set my eyes on the GLM. I will have a good life when I get to the summit, and I’ll have a good time getting there! What a dream.

Until it turned into a nightmare. No matter how much I tried I could never catch up. There was always the guy who was ahead, who was having so much more fun than I, and who surrounded himself with the ‘Really-Good-Life-Crowd’. I tried so hard to be playful, to add my flavour to the crème de la crème of climbers. Alas, no good deed went unpunished, and no non-good deed was cool enough. 
What a let-down.

Didn’t I have any value to add in the game of clones? Why couldn’t I chill my way up to the clouds? I had put my best foot forward to fit in a shoe that was made without me in mind, and I could not get my foot in. Instead, I found my foot in my mouth one too many times, as I valiantly attempted yet again to be a man amongst men. Did I fail by being too selfish or not selfish enough?

By the time I reached the summit I was feeling sorrier for myself than I’ve felt before. I was falling into a full on depression. ‘Does anyone have an anti-depressant?’ I called out.

‘Get in line!’ came the response from a bouncer, trying to make a sense of order in the chaos of clones who had reached the summit of GLM, only to find themselves in an inner abyss. The line for the drug circled the summit round and round, and I waited amongst those who I never thought I’d meet on this line. What a shock.

I had many questions:

Weren’t they happy all along? Didn’t their selfishness carry them into utopia?

Why is the summit of the selfishness mountain a lonely depressing space?

Does selfishness lead to indulgence, or does indulgence lead to selfishness? And why did this duo lead to doom? Was it inevitable?

I thought about Korach, the larger than life character in this week’s Parsha. He created a rebellion against Moshe, leading to a full-blown crisis. Why? He wanted power. He wanted the Good Life. Although he was one of the wealthiest people to have ever lived, he lusted for more power. His selfishness led him and hundreds of others into a literal abyss when the earth miraculously swallowed them up.

Hey, what about that other mountain? Is it different? Are its climbers different? Does it demand its own set of gear? What about the summit? Does it also have a long line of depressives? Is Moshe on that mountain?

Time to get my dose. Gross! Did I climb all this for this?

I took out my binoculars and turned towards the Life of Goodness Mountain.

I know that it’s never too late to climb the other mountain. And, yes, I’ve learned lots of lessons from the GLM climb. I just wish that I’d researched the other climb and climbers before the epic disappointment.

I didn’t have to learn from my mistakes. I could’ve learned from the mistakes of others.

I hope that you will learn from mine.

Rabbi Avtzon